It has been a while since I have brought a glimpse of my crazy world to you but I got busy and the situation with the landlady got seriously stupid. Yesterday we saw a dip back into whimsical stupidity that this blog is known for. (Benedict Cumberbatch voice) Shall we begin?
Yesterday on of the smoke detectors in the house let us know it's battery was dying by the irritating beep every 2 minutes. I go inform my land lady. Now if you think she came over and changed batteries without incident then you haven't been reading this blog and shame on you. It's funny and a chance for me to vent and cheaper than therapy. Did I also mention it's funny?
I lead her into the room with the offending smoke detector.
Beep.
Landlady:"That's weird there's no smoke."
Yes, because that's what I would do. Lead you into a smoke filled house just to show you that the smoke detector is working.
Me: "No that means the battery is dying and needs to be changed."
She grabs a chair, stands on it and pops the cover off the smoke detector. There she was confronted with a new problem. A nine volt battery.
Landlady: "Is this a battery?"
I quickly glanced around for Ashton Kutcher. I had to be getting Punk'd. There's no way she just asked me that.
Me: "Yes that's a nine volt battery."
Oh, why did I not try to get her to lick the leads? If we're gonna play this game of Dumb and Dumber I may as well have some fun right? Right? Right?
Anyway she asked me where she might find these types of batteries. I told her they are common batteries and can be found anywhere. She leaves for the store and I am treated to 10 minutes of non dumb life.
She returns from the store with the proper batteries and installs them.
Beep.
She comes out into the living room.
Landlady: " I put the battery in but it's still beeping. Can you look at it?"
Did---did she---she asked for help? Maybe she's getting smarter? Perhaps this was just some elaborate form of nine month amnesia? Is this a turning point for us? Will I now shut down my blog because she is now intelligent? The sun seemed to shine brighter. Cartoon birds flew around me. Things were looking up.
I approach the smoke detector and pop the lid off.
"Zeus, Father of Sky and Thunderer---I beg of thee to smite my enemies."
My landlady shoved the battery into the smoke detector and didn't connect the leads to the smoke detector.
