Dime Bag of Pepperoni

The story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent and the stupid...

After a few months of having a new land lady, things began to settle down. We didn't see the early warning signs of stupidity. We go to her if the cable was out. She'd call Time Warner. The cable would come back on. She'd walk into the room with the TV on and ask if the cable was working. Mind you there is nothing else hooked to the TV...not a PS3, XBOX or DVD player. However things took a turn for the worst one day.

Two roommates, we'll call them Jim and John, were hungry and decided to order a pizza together. Jim doesn't have any cash on him so John agrees to pay for it as long as Jim pays him back. The two enjoy a pizza from one of the superb pizzerias we have in the area. Honestly there is some good pizza around here...but that is neither here nor there.
The next day Jim comes home on his school lunch break to give John his money. On the front lawn Jim hands John a few dollars...all in plain view of (REDACTED), the land lady. Jim goes back to school and John comes back into the house. The land lady enters the house in a huff. She starts yelling at John that he shouldn't buying drugs from Jim.
Yes. The land lady saw Jim giving John money and assumed it was a drug deal...in broad daylight...on the front lawn.
John tells her he isn't buying drugs and that they bought a pizza together.
Land lady tell him she knows what a drug deal looks like and that it's against the rules to sell drugs in the house.
Now they are yelling at each other.
John goes to the refrigerator and pulls out the left overs in the pizza box.
"We ordered a pizza, this is a pizza."
The DEA Land lady continued with her inquisition.
"We do not let people buy mary-juana (this is the ways she said it and as close to spelling it as I can get) in this house."
Mind you that weed is legal in California and one does not need to do a shady drug deal to obtain it because there is a weed store a block from the house.
At this point John grabs a slice of his pizza, out of the box and shows it to her.
"THIS IS PIZZA! I BOUGHT PIZZA!"
"NO DRUGS!"
They are yelling at the top of their lungs. I am on my laptop, trying to work on my thesis, while this is going on.
At this point John loses his mind and begins flinging pizza slices around the room. After which he runs out of the house.
"You will clean this up!" She yells after them.
After things sort of calm down and I tell her that they bought a pizza a night before and that's what the money was for.
"Drugs are bad." was the only response I got as she walked out of the house.

Follow-up:
Jim and John no longer live here. I am starting to believe that stupidity is like zombie-ism. Contact with one stupid person makes you start to become stupid. Jim, who was going to school to be a doctor was found on Santa Monica Blvd, butt ass naked with a flash light in the middle of the day. I like to think he was looking for his mind.
John moved out of the house soon after. The burden of being the North Hollywood Pizza-Lord grew too much for him. I'd like to think that at this very moment he is in an office, with several pizzas piled high on his desk, Scarface style, waiting for Papa Johns' men to come kill him because you don't fuck with Papa Johns.

Coming Soon: 911 is a joke.