Perfect Storm of Stupidity

There comes a time in every one's life when they have to deal with a stupid person. Everyday as we traverse across this globe we lessen the odds of meeting more stupid people than we know what to do with. Face it, there are some dumb people and then there are some DUMB people. The point of this blog is for me to work through some of the dumb activities of my land lady. I believe that she is the perfect storm of dumb and stupidity all wrapped up in one. This blog however is not an attempt to embarrass her in any way. It's just she goes through all that hard work to being dumb that it needs to be shared and I need to get this out of my system before I lose my mind and kill a bunch of people.
So as they usually say, the only place to start is at the beginning...
My plunge into the depths of stupid hell began a few months ago when our house manager quit to live with her girl friend. I live in an artist compound in Los Angeles. It's cheap but you have to share a room with three other people. This doesn't bother me as I was in the Navy and once shared a room with fifty people. This to me was an upgrade. A tenant from another property was brought into be our Manager/Land Lord/Lady...whatever. A house meeting was called where we'd meet her for the first time. How would this woman greet her new tenants, people whose fate she held in the palm of her hand?...she went into a tirade. She started yelling about dishes and cleanliness and food being put away. Mind you she just got here and this was the first time she looked around. Now from my description you'd imagine there were dirty dishes or food out. Nope...not a one. So she is yelling about a problem we don't have.  However the best piece of dialogue i have yet to share with you:

 "You have to wash your dishes because if you don't a rat will come in the house and piss on the dishes and then you'll all die."

We were floored. I almost lost it. I couldn't hold back the tears from laughing too hard. My over-active imagination saw this big ass gang banger rat walk into the house, throw up a gang sign and then proceed to piss all over our sink.
I am no animal expert but I am sure that if I left a dish in the sink the turn of events that follow would not be 1) A rat sees the plate 2) Comes into the house like a little Santa Mickey 3) Piss on the plate 4) We all die...either from the rat's murder-piss or because of now the punishment of not being clean is death.
I wish I could tell  you this is a made up story but it's as true as true can be. I wish that this was also the last of the dumb things I'd encounter but I wouldn't be writing a blog about it, would I? Things got worst. A lot worst.
Pray for Me.